Clarity

I think some of my confusion may come from who I was and who I am. We are beings of constant change and I don't even think most of us realize this. I am sooo different, in every way then 2 years ago!! It's a trip. My look, my size, my thoughts, my likes. All very different. Sometimes as time goes, we get caught up in that, in the I am who I was. But I am no longer that actually. I was one person at one time and now at this time I am different. I speak all this reflecting on who I was from about 16-21 this very defined hiphop head who knew more about the underground than some of the other heads I kicked it with that really seemed to get it. I guess when I'm in something, I go hard. It becomes my entire beingness way of life. I was so hiphop- I was so anti mainstream hiphop. And I was so cool because I was ahead of others that wanted to be where I was. And that's so funny now. Now with who I am today. More of a lover and a hippie and not as closed minded as I once was. the underground was it for me- It was the shit and fuck your music while I'm at it. And then I moved to the twin cities where it was at- the Mecca of the indie sound I was chasing. And it changed- I left there diggin an electro sound I couldn't hack. It had evolved- I started recognizing the heavy bass was the source of my love- the sound- and that turned me onto dubstep some drum n bass and then, the positivity of electronic music is remarkable you know. Quite perfect for me. Music is time and music is people.

Who I am today is so different. I was super lyrical and with dub I'm more physical. My hiphop was: beautiful writing said in perfect timing to a beautiful beat. And dub is -you are the writing -you dance the words -you just do you and you don't give a fuck who's watching. It's pure expression.

And just as this wave comes so will the next. Not just in music. It's basically a metaphor for every change in life.

I don't know how long I'll be here, but I'm happy. I'm okay with knowing that I won't always feel this way. That something else will come along and spellbind me.

For now I accept that. And I also accept you for the changes you go through in your own life. I won't call you a "wannabe rapper hippie" something. I know that you are who you are and that will always change.